


Drifting Aimlessly

by orphan_account



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Know Where This Is Going, I mean I'm pretty sure of how it'll end, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, first fanfic, sentimonster!adrien
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2020-10-25 22:31:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20731760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Using every last drop of energy left, she used her powers to mould the, magic, for lack of a better word, into the form of an infant. He had the brightest green eyes, the smoothest blond hair,  and the fullest cheeks. The first smile he made was bright enough to light up a whole room. The couple knew then and there that this was their son, that he would make them so proud when he grows up….…and you have”Or the one where Adrien goes through an existential crisis, Plagg is bad at showing emotion, and Marinette cares.





	1. Prologue (Plagg)

A soft melody resonated from the piano as Adrien’s fingers glided across the keyboard, unleashing pent-up frustration into a mournful tune. Seeing this, Plagg sighed, trying not to let the boy know that tears were trickling from his eyelids. “_It was only a matter of time before he found out_,” the boy’s father said, “_Telling him now would only speed up the process of acceptance_” he claimed. If Plagg were in charge, Adrien would’ve never found out, even though, he begrudgingly admitted, in the long run, he will be better for it.

Once he finishes feeling…. whatever he is. Plagg had known the kid for quite a while now, and he has gotten good at reading his emotions, if he does say so himself, but _this_, _this_ is new. For the past hour, Adrien had been cycling between a type of grief and pure rage, while also going through fierce waves of insecurities and worrying about what Ladybug would think, whether she would still consider him her partner, whether she was better off without him…

… and it was all _his_ fault.


	2. Chapter 1(Adrien)

_2 hours earlier_

_Coming to school was definitely worth it_, Adrien thought as he packed his belongings, _no matter how hard it seemed at first_. Honestly, he had to thank Chloe for suggesting the idea to him, without her, he wouldn’t have met Nino, Marinette and the rest of his classmates. His days were much brighter because of them, and he wouldn’t trade this for the world.

Walking to the car had become a little harder, and he wanted to try and sneak away to find his friends a little more, but he had a photoshoot and disappointing his father was one thing that Adrien avoided doing at all costs. But when he arrived at the pick-up point, Nathalie was standing outside of the car, the tablet she uses to let people talk to Gabriel in her hand, her face blank and stoic. Confused, the boy hesitantly walked up to her, stopping when he was precisely three meters away, what his father would call a ‘respectful distance.’

“Adrien”, Nathalie called, “Your father wishes to speak with you.”

Now? His father hardly ever spoke to him, and when he does, it is only to inform him about events coming up, unless Adrien himself asked for a meeting.

Seeing his lack of response, Nathalie continued. “He says it’s urgent.” She said, her face shifting from the blank canvas it was before to one of pleading, “Please, Adrien. It’s important.”

Stunned, all Adrien could do was nod and hold his arm out for the tablet. Once the device was within his hands, Nathalie pointed him towards his regular seat in the car, her face having returned to its normal state. “For privacy.”

* * *

After settling in the black leather seat, Adrien raised the screen separating himself from Nathalie and the Gorilla in the front, before, with Plagg’s encouragement, switching on the tablet to reveal his father sitting at his desk, not showing any signs of being startled by his appearance.

“Ah, Adrien. I was wondering when you would arrive. Nathalie told me that we could have this conversation ten minutes ago.” Gabriel Agreste was a busy man, so busy in fact, that Adrien had to schedule an appointment if he wanted to talk. He would most surely feel the repercussions of being late once he gets home, but Adrien wanted to know what was so urgent that Gabriel scheduled his only free hour for a conversation with his son.

“Sorry father, it won’t happen again, but, why do you wish to speak with me?” Adrien replied sheepishly, making sure to address his father properly, not wanting to offend him. Another thing about Gabriel, he prefers for people to speak formally when addressing him, no exceptions, not even Adrien.

Gabriel spun his chair away and took a deep breath, before turning back towards his son. “Well, it’s a long story, one I’ve held in for far too long.” Another breath. “Anyway, once upon a time there was a man. This man lived happily with his wife for a long while, both being perfectly content with the life they had, until they weren’t. She wanted a child, a person who would be a happy addition to the family they had worked so hard to create. He was initially reluctant, but seeing how desperate she was, he agreed.” Adrien watched in shock as tears glistened in the light on his father’s face. Whoever this happened to must be close to him. Another deep breath. “After trying for a while, _months_ in fact, it became evident that the couple could not have a child, and unless they were willing to seek help, they would probably never have one.” At this point, Gabriel was refusing to look at Adrien and his breathing became visibly shallower. The narration stopped.

“What happened then?” Adrien eagerly asked, shifting in his seat, curiosity overriding any politeness that could’ve stopped him from asking. “Did the couple get a child?”

“Fortunately for them” Gabriel continued, ”the answer came when the couple went on a business trip to Tibet. They had managed to stumble upon the ruins of an old temple, and decided to explore at her insistence. While mildly excavating the ruins to see what they could find, the couple found a book written in some form of ancient language, and two pieces of jewellery, one resembling the feathers of a peacock, and the other seemingly inspired by the wings of a butterfly.”

Adrien paused. Two words echoed in his head. Peacock? _Butterfly?_ Could it be that the people his father was talking about had found _miraculouses_?

He had to tell Ladybug.

“…rien, Adrien!” His father’s irritated tone jolted him from his musings, “Are you listening? This is hard enough as it is, don’t make this take any longer than it should.”

“Sorry father, I was lost in thought. You were saying?”

“As I was saying, once the couple moved to put on the jewellery, small, floating beings, one purple and one blue, manifested before their eyes. They introduced themselves as kwamis and the jewellery as miraculouses, special objects that allowed their owners to wield powers not known to mankind. Seeing this, the man put away the butterfly brooch, sending the purple kwami back into the jewel presumably, while the woman immediately put on the peacock brooch and introduced herself to the blue kwami, who called herself Duusu. Duusu explained all the fundamentals of being a miraculous wielder, and before he knew it, she had transformed into a peacock-themed superhero, and he had never loved her more than when he laid eyes on her then.

_“What do you wish to be called?” he asked. _

_“Le Paon,” she answered._

Le Paon became the face of safety in Paris, appearing to sort out minor injustices but nothing on the scale of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s battle against Hawkmoth, and began to work daily on boosting her powers. Her main power was the creation of ‘sentimonsters,’ beings that are born from the emotion of others to aid them, and she worked on perfecting them so that they would go unnoticed by the general public. Somehow, during that period, she had gotten the idea that using her power, she could create a child that seemed human enough and would grow and age within the years. The child would be perfect, and he or she would be everything she’s ever wanted in a child. Even though her husband disagreed, he allowed her to continue, knowing that this would bring her absolute joy.

She worked for months, designing a prototype of the ideal boy, because after careful consideration, they both knew they wanted a boy, and once they were both happy, Duusu began to guide her through the process of actually making it a reality. Day in and day out, she would be in the basement of their old house, transformed, making sentimonster after sentimonster, except, none of them were quite right. You see son, sentimonsters are powered by an amok, a feather that is torn off of the fan that the peacock miraculous holder receives, and that amok has to be placed within an object. Whoever possesses the amok has absolute control over the being, meaning that if this boy were to act normal, he would either need to be in possession of his own amok all the time, or the amok needs to be placed somewhere where no one would find it, meaning that his only weakness cannot be exploited, but any and every object in their small house had some sort of practical use and nothing could be spared. She took her concerns to her partner, and he decided that once they move house, the amok would be fused with the mortar so as long as the house stands, the boy’s lifeforce will not get affected. “

The car pulled up to the Agreste Mansion’s driveway, and Adrien looked away from the screen so he could get out of the car. He thanked his father’s assistant and walked up the central flight of stairs to his room. Once there, he put his bag to the side and out came Plagg.

“Cheeeeese! Adrien, I’m famished.” Plagg moaned. Adrien immediately went up to the cheese cabinet and pulled out a whole wheel of camembert, which the kwami ate in an instant. The boy turned towards his black kwami, knowing that what he just heard, and what he will hear once he calls his father back is important.

“Plagg, we do have a patrol tonight, right?” His sudden question caused Plagg to look up from the corner he had settled in.

“Uhhh…. Yes? Why? Can’t wait to see your _lady_?” A smirk spread across Plagg’s face.

“_No!_... uh, yes, but that’s not why I asked. We have to tell Ladybug about the peacock miraculous being used by these people to create a sentimonster. That could help us find out who Mayura really is. Don’t you see Plagg, I have to talk to her!”

“Well, Adrien, if I were you, I would finish hearing what your father has to say before thinking about telling Ladybug. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take a nap.” Plagg lowered himself down and quickly drifted off to sleep.

Newly energised, Adrien prepared to hear the rest of the story.

* * *

“The time for moving came when both of their careers took off”, Gabriel continued, “with them becoming common household names, and everyone knew about them. The couple moved into a large house in the centre of the city which had a highly advanced security system to protect their son from the fame he would acquire from simply being their child. Once the couple had settled in, the child could be born. They both travelled down an elevator to a large garden that was beneath their house, squeezing each other’s hands and whispering gentle reassurances; “_yes, the child will be healthy,” “no, no one will find out about his creation,” “yes, he will be protected,” “he will feel safe, warm_, _happy.” _He watched as she turned into Le Paon before his eyes, the cool blue dress lightly kissing her ankles. He stared in awe as she plucked a feather from her fan, before attempting to push it towards the wall to meld it with the house, but something went wrong. The amok settled within her miraculous instead, and she began to grow fatigued, but she kept pushing, for the sake of her son. Using every last drop of energy left, she used her powers to mould the, _magic_, for lack of a better word, into the form of an infant. He had the brightest green eyes, the smoothest blond hair, and the fullest cheeks. The first smile he made was bright enough to light up a whole room. The couple knew then and there that _this _was their son, that he would make them so proud when he grows up….” His next words were so quiet that Adrien almost couldn’t hear them, mumbled into the lull of noise that formed between the two.

“…_and you have”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so somehow the idea of Adrien being a sentimonster reached me, and this (whatever this is) was born. (I still have no idea what I'm doing). 
> 
> I don't think I'm gonna have a proper update schedule, but I'm gonna try and get a bit up before I go away at the end of the week.
> 
> This is my first fanfic (you won't believe how nervous I was before I uploaded this), so criticism is welcome and encouraged. 
> 
> -LT


	3. Chapter 2 (Adrien/Ladybug)

**Adrien:**

_Now_

In the hour since Adrien had been told that his entire life was a lie, and that he wasn’t even a real person, heck, he shouldn’t even _exist_, he tried to push aside any visible reaction to the bombshell his father dropped on him, instead opting to stress-piano, as Plagg had dubbed it, until he felt as if he had worn the overwhelming emotions out of him. But being told that he wasn’t real wasn’t even the worst part, no, when his father went on, it got much worse.

“_But, if my existence is tied to the peacock miraculous, doesn’t that mean that Mayura could kill me at any minute?” He had asked_

_His father grimaced, as if he knew that Adrien would ask this, and replied, ever so gently, knowing that what he said will send the boy into even further turmoil “Umm, yes, but not to worry Adrien, the peacock miraculous is secure and is always within our household walls.”_

_This had shocked Adrien, _my father knew who Mayura was, and he didn’t do anything to stop it? _He thought. Expressing his concerns to his father, the only response he got was;_

_“Yes, and I know who Hawk Moth is too, but they won’t harm you son, I personally make sure of that. In fact, I provide my estate as a facility for them to base their operations out of in exchange for a promise to never lay a finger on you.”_

His father was in cahoots with both Hawk Moth and Mayura, they use his house to scheme and plot to get his and Ladybug’s miraculouses, and _he knew both their identities_. If Ladybug ever found out about this, she would most probably storm the ‘fortress’, as Nino calls it, in order to interrogate or apprehend them, leaving Adrien without a father. _Should I even call him that anymore? It’s not like I’m actually related to him, or _anyone_ actually_.

The piano continued to do its job of crying when Adrien couldn’t, the song he played, a self-composition of his, being the one he turns to when he wants to cry but can’t. One thought swirled around his head over and over again, in a seemingly never-ending cycle; _I’m a monster, an abomination, not real, not a person. _

Plagg, having just awoken from his nap, floated towards Adrien until he was right up in his face, causing the boy to lose his momentum and the music to stop.

“Wanna play a duet?” Adrien gave a small smile.

“Sorry, Plagg, I don’t think that’s gonna help this time.”

Plagg gave a deep sigh, bowed his head and prepared to retreat, then immediately flew back into Adrien’s face.

“Are you still up for patrol at 9? It’s in 3 hours, so you have time to back out if you don’t want to go.”

“Actually, I think I will go, I need another person to talk to.” Realising what he said, and comparing it to what he now knew, Adrien began to sniffle, tears welling in the corners of his eyes.

“Or Chat Noir could go out, maybe that will help take your mind off things.”

“Maybe, it’s worth a try. Plagg, Claws Out!” The familiar rush of green light overtook the boy. Where Adrien stood a few seconds ago, there was now Chat Noir, hero of Paris. Looking sadly back at his room, Chat Noir climbed onto the windowsill and escaped into the pre-dusk light.

* * *

**Ladybug:**

_I’m so, so late _Ladybug thought as she rushed along Paris’ rooftops towards the location where she and Chat were supposed to meet for their patrol. Eyeing the rectangular package she had tucked under her left shoulder though, she smiled. _Hopefully he’ll forgive me when I show him this_. She had rushed to the nearest party store to purchase some red and black spotted gift wrap when she realised that, for some unknown reason, all the gift wrap Marinette had in her room had mysteriously gone missing, and by the time she had gotten back, it was already half-past eight. After that, she had to do her homework or risk getting a detention from Miss Bustier the next day, meaning that it was nine-thirty when she looked up again, a whole half-hour after she was supposed to meet Chat Noir.

However, when Ladybug finally reached the rooftop ten minutes later, there was no cat in sight. Which was odd. He was_ always _early for patrols, and she could hear faint snores, which was odder. Worried about the poor civilian that managed to get stuck up on the roof, but still pretty sure it was her partner, she carefully creeped towards the noise. When she found the source, she was a few buildings across leaning against a red brick chimney that was still emitting smoke, even this late at night. When Ladybug peered around it, having stopped to regain her breath, she saw Chat Noir curled up in a ball, looking so innocent and at peace. His eyes, covered by the black material that makes up his suit and mask, were shut, and the subtle rise and fall of his chest implied that he had been asleep for a while. _What could tire him out so much that he’s already asleep? We usually end patrol much later and he never seems sleepy at all._

“Chat Noir?” she whispered. “Are you awake?” When he didn’t respond, she slowly tiptoed up to him, ensuring her footsteps were light on the tin surface beneath the duo’s feet, and gently tapped a slender finger on his shoulder. Waiting a total of five seconds for a response before she lost her patience, the superheroine proceeded to more firmly bring her arm onto her partner’s shoulder. Assuming the shoulder pads were enough to prevent intolerable levels of pain, Ladybug proceeded to poke the boy. Hard. Multiple times. Each poke gave more of a response from Chat’s sleeping form, his eyes fluttering, until after a loud slap echoed in the silence of the dark night, he startled awake.

“OWWW!” Chat Noir jolted upright, rubbing his right shoulder, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. “M’lady, that hurt. Why’d you do that?” He groggily asked. Seeing his pain evident on his face, Ladybug turned away, warmth spreading across her cheeks.

“Ummm… you were asleep, and patrol was supposed to start close to forty minutes ago.” Chat Noir was evidently not impressed, so Ladybug continued. ”And I wanted to give you something.” She said while her squinted eyes scanned around the vicinity for the box that she had somehow dropped while looking for her partner, with no success. _After all, _I’m _not the one with night vision_. “Where is it? It was just here.” She got on her hands and knees to search the rooftop, wishing on every star in the sky that she would find the package before they had to leave, with Chat Noir smirking at her for some reason.

Twirling an object around on a single, outstretched finger, Chat Noir grinned smugly.

“What? Looking for something bugaboo?” He smirked once he stopped. In his right hand, shrouded in red-and-black polka-dotted wrapping paper, was the present. Ladybug’s jaw dropped.

“You found it!” she gasped, before immediately realising that this meant that she couldn’t give it to him, and promptly turning on her heel. “Wait.. _nooo_, you ruined the surprise!” she huffed, pouting.

“Well, m’lady, I still don’t know what’s in it, so I’d say there’s a fair bit of surprise left.” Chat said, winking. “So what is it? Is it pawesome?”

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore. Open it.” Ladybug said, gesturing to the package currently cradled in Chat Noir’s arms. _I hope he likes it_.

The sound of tearing gift-wrap disrupting the silence that bloomed in the calm Parisian night, Chat Noir grinning widely, a sparkle in his eyes, bouncing on his toes in anticipation as he shredded off the last of the coating to unveil a black woollen scarf, which he giddily grabbed, and immediately wrapped around his neck. Awkwardly, but Ladybug found it to be quite endearing, and if she were being honest with herself, kind of adorable, not that she’d ever admit it. A glint reflected back from the ground where the light hit it, causing the duo to pause their musings and divert their attention to the ground. A single keychain in the shape of a tiny black cat holding its pink paw up like it were about to high-five someone, its tail raised behind it.

That keychain was the thing that sparked the making of the scarf, though Ladybug had been meaning to give her partner and friend a gift for some time, under the excuse that friends always exchange gifts, especially for birthdays and special occasions, but neither of them knew anything about the other. So Marinette had taken it upon herself to make him a little something to make up for that, (and spend far longer than she was supposed to planning out the day that she would give it to him, but that was another story). When she saw the keychain at a small, insignificant stall at some market Alya and the girls had dragged her along to for some reason or another, she was sold. It hadn’t helped that the stall owner, a short, haggard lady with a hunched back had practically insisted that the charm should be hers, with a twinkle in her eyes that would have usually made her wary, but the young girl hadn’t noticed, having been too busy envisioning Chat’s joy when he sees it. A vision that looked just like what was actually playing out in front of her.

“You look like the cat who’s got the cream.” She said, laughing as she took in his wide eyes staring gobsmacked at the scarf.

“So what if I do? A present from m’lady doesn’t come every day.” He retorted.

Picking up the keychain, she giggled. “You dropped this.”

His eyes got wider, which Ladybug would’ve thought was impossible before she saw it with her own eyes. “There’s more?”

She nodded. “Mmm hm.”

Chat reached out to grab the second part to his gift. “Why?” he asked, fastening the keychain to a small loop that had been stitched onto the edge of the scarf.

“Why what?”

“Why all of this?” he clarified, gesturing his arms towards the scarf, keychain newly adjoined.

“Because we’re friends, and this is what friends do. I mean, I didn’t know when your birthday was, and I still don’t want to know, so don’t tell me,” Ladybug added, holding her arm out when she saw Chat opening his mouth to butt in. “but I felt a little guilty when I thought about all the gifts I got for my other friends. And I kinda wanted an excuse to make another scarf for a while now.”

“Wait… you made that!?” _Oops_.

Looking down at her toes, she replied. “Yeah, I guess I did.” She had checked, double-checked, even _triple_-checked the finished garment from top to bottom to hide any incriminating evidence of whose hands laboured the piece, hopefully she didn’t miss anything.

“It’s _amazing_! I thought it was good before, but that was under the assumption that you bought it from some place that specialises in clothing, but knowing that m’lady made it makes it even more wonderful. You must be really talented.”

“Oh, it’s nothing special.”

“Don’t sell yourself short Ladybug, it’s beautiful. Just like you are. I don’t have anything for you though.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ladybug insisted, pointedly ignoring Chat’s comment about her being beautiful, “this is just something I wanted to do.”

“Thank you. I realised I haven’t said it yet, so thank you.” He said, wrapping his arms around her in a warm hug.

“No problem kitty.” She returned the hug happily, and was just slightly disappointed when a chill came upon her once he dissipated the hug.

“Speaking of problems, I think we might have a big one.” Chat Noir says before promptly bursting into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! Sorry for not posting anything for *checks how long it's been* a month. I don't plan out things prior to writing them, so if I hit a snag, then the piece and my attitude towards writing it tend to fall apart. I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out, but it's done, so thats something.
> 
> Sorry not sorry for the lack of decent plot, I pretty much just wanted an excuse to write some fluff, even more so after seeing Miracle Queen.
> 
> As always, I would love some feedback, so if you have anything you wish to say, please leave a comment below.
> 
> -LT


	4. Author's Note (Not a Chapter)

Hi everyone, 

I'd like to thank you all so much for reading, it means so much to me that you all found my work entertaining :) (which makes what I'm about to say even harder)

(welp here I go)

You might've noticed that I haven't posted for a while, even though I said that I would quite soon after my last update.

Well truth is that at some point after I posted that I lost interest in writing Drifting Aimlessly (like I lost all sense of direction with it, and I also thought my concept was a little too tropey), so I have made the (incredibly hard) decision to place this story on indefinite hiatus.

I'm sorry if this upsets any of you, but I will try to get back to it once I gain a greater concept of the story.

\- LT


End file.
